English's orthography is famously irregular. So much so, that for many decades nerds all over the world have pondered: what if it... wasn't?
Most of their attempts weren't very good, and a few were almost passable. But none have ever truly managed to be up to the task... until now.
Today (doesn't matter when you read this), I will be one of those nerds, but I'm taking a different approach. I'm going beyond what is considered "reasonable" or "sensible" or "good". I'm improving English spelling by improving English speaking.
Goals:
The goals for this project are:
-
Create an English orthography that can be easily understood by speakers. -
Reduce English’s phonetic inventory to aid in simplifying the orthography. -
Maintain as much intelligibility as possible with present-day English dialects. -
Keep it simple by not adding any new phonemes: some will be removed, but none will be added. -
Attempt to reduce homographs, but not necessarily homophones. -
Inarguably improve the English language forever and ever for all time.
Result:
Inglish's phonemes are as follows:
Consonants: Voiceless, (voiced)
| Labial | Alveolar | Palatal | Velar | |
| Nasal | m | n | (ŋ) | |
| Stop | p (b) | t (d) | tʃ (dʒ) | k (g) |
| Continuant | f | s | ʃ (ʒ) | :x |
| Lateral | (l) | |||
| Trill | (r) |
Vowels:
| Front | Central | Back | |
| Close | i | u | |
| Mid | e | ə | o |
| Open | a |
This leads to the following orthography, which is based on one principle: most letters should only have one phonemic realisation, and most letters should be distinct from each other.
|
A1 |
B |
C |
Ch |
D |
E1 |
F |
G |
H |
I1 |
J |
K |
L |
M |
|
/a/ |
/b/ |
/k/, /s/2 |
/tʃ/ |
/d/ |
/e/ |
/f/ |
/g/, /dʒ/3 |
silent4 |
/i/ |
/x/ |
/k/ |
/l/ |
/m/ |
|
N |
O1 |
P |
Q |
R |
S |
Sh |
T |
U1 |
V |
W |
X6 | Y | Z |
|
/n/, /ŋ/5 |
/o/ |
/p/ |
/k/ |
/r/ |
/s/ |
/ʃ/, /ʒ/ |
/t/ |
/u/ |
/b/ |
/u/ |
/ks/, /s/, /gs/, /x/ | /i/ | /s/ |
1
All vowels may become /ə/ in unstressed syllables.
2
<C> is only /s/ in front of /i/ or /e/: celebriti (“celebrity”), citi
(“city”).
3
<G> is /dʒ/ before /i/ or /e/: gel (“gel”), gift (“gift”).
4
The letter <H> is used to mark vowel length: compare feri (“ferry”) and
feheri (“fairy”), bit (“bit”) and bihit (“beat”)...
5
<N> is /ŋ/ after /g/ or /k/: sing (“sing”), sihing (“seeing”), sink
(“sink”)...
6
The letter <X> is highly variable and should only be used to make words
more recognisable to non-Inglish speakers; siks is preferred to six (“six”),
sailofoun is preferred to xailofoun (“xylophone”), egsaust over exaust
(“exhaust”), Loj Nes over Lox Nes (“Loch Ness”).
To ease people into using this clearly highly improved system, here is a little table of English sounds and their Inglish equivalents:
| /θ/ | /ð/ | /v/ | /z/ | /h/ | /j/ | /w/ | /æ/, /ɑ/, /ʌ/ | /ɜ/ | /ɪ/ | /ɒ/, /ɔ/ | /ʊ/ | /ə/ |
| /s/ | /d/ | /b/ where spelling is <V>, /f/ where spelling is <F>. | /s/ | /x/ | /i/ | /u/ | /a/ | /e/ | /i/ | /o/ | /u/ | Transcribe freely, trying to maintain familiar spellings. |
Example:
The following text was modified from Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Ol jiuman bihings ar born fri en iquel in digniti en raits. Dey ar endaud wid rison en canshens en shud act towords wan anader in a spirit of braderjud.
[ˈol ˈxiumən ˈbiːəŋs ar ˈborn ˈfri ən ˈiquəl in ˈdignəti ən ˈraits | dei ar ənˈdaud uid ˈrisən ən ˈcanʃəns ən ʃud ˈakt təˈwords ˈwan əˈnader in ə ˈspirit əf ˈbrəderjud]
Conclusion:
Noam Chomsky is quoted as saying "[...]conventional orthography is probably fairly close to optimal for all modern English dialects[...]". Clirly dis is bicos je jasn't sihin de biuti of Beter Inglish Languish.
:x VelarFricative
The voiceless velar fricative /x/ is present in Scottish and Irish English. Don't @ me.
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